Making a Difference
by blvdgirl
Summary: Season 3, Learning Curve Tag. Sam questions her choices during a recent mission. Sam & Jack friendship. Oneshot.


Season 3, Learning Curve Episode Tag

Disclaimer- I do not own Stargate and do not intend to profit from this story except in the joy of the writing endeavor and in the receipt of many reviews...

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Sam stood in her lab. She'd neglected to turn on the light. It was dark and quiet, the only activity the blipping lights on the monitors. On the table in front of her were Merrin's sketches,  
cross-sections of a naquadah reactor, intricate in detail. She fingered through them absently. These drawings may change this world, she thought bitterly, but in order to obtain them I was willing to sacrifice Merrin and so many others on her world. Sam's shoulders sagged with the weight of self-disappointment. If it wasn't for the Colonel, Sam acknowledged wearily, we would have ignored the Orbanians' use of children as educational tools, meant to be used and then discarded. We would have condoned the practice just to have access to their technology, she considered with loathing.

Fortunately, the Colonel had been the hero again. He hadn't been willing to sacrifice Merrin.  
Instead, he'd sacrificed his career—he'd risked a court martial—to try and save her. He put himself on the line to do the right thing, regardless of the cost. And, through his actions, he had changed an entire world; he had improved the lives of thousands… Once again, Sam acknowledged that Jack O'neill awed her and made her, who always followed the rules, feel small and a little inadequate.

"Carter."

The voice behind her made her jump. She turned. It was her CO—the man who had just done without thinking something that she would never have dared to do. "Sir," she responded,  
unconsciously coming to attention.

The corners of his mouth turned up, "At ease, Major."

Carter, realizing what she had done, gave a half-hearted, sheepish smile as she relaxed her body and looked down at the floor. Maybe she could sink through it somehow.

He continued, "Still here, I see."

"Yes, sir." She paused. "I just thought I'd run down here after the debriefing and make sure that the reactor plans were in order before heading home."

O'neill looked at her quizzically. "The debriefing was over an hour ago."

Sam checked her watch in surprise. "Oh, I hadn't realized."

O'neill continued. "So, do you want to tell me what's on your mind?" Sam gave him a puzzled look. "You know, why you're standing down here alone in the dark…"

Sam hesitated. "It's nothing, sir."

Jack sauntered over to a stool and sat down. "Nothing?" He waited, but Sam didn't reply. "Nope. I'm not gonna buy that this time, Carter. I'd rather go with what's behind door number two. You've been out-of-sorts since I got back to the base with Merrin yesterday. And, then, today, since we got back from Orban, you've been frighteningly quiet. What's going on?"

Sam eyed him cautiously. His eyes and his smile revealed his good humor, but she could also see genuine concern there. Whether it was the lateness of the hour or the appeal of actually confiding in this man she couldn't guess, but she decided that she would tell the truth, the whole truth..."Actually, sir, I felt out-of-sorts even before you left the base with Merrin." She paused, trying to select her words carefully. She proceeded slowly, "I knew that what was going to happen to her was unfair, that it was awful, but I didn't know what to do about it. My conscience called for action, but I hid from it behind my orders. In my mind, I thought I justified the Orbanians' treatment of the Urroin as a cultural difference, but really I just didn't want to lose access to their technology… I failed, sir. I didn't do what was right by Merrin and I didn't do what was right by myself."

The Colonel began, "Carter," but Sam interrupted.

"Please let me finish, sir." She looked at him imploringly and he nodded his head."And, I didn't even realize it, that my priorities we so wrong. I didn't realize it until you left with Merrin, when you did what I didn't have the courage to do..." Jack looked as though he was about to interupt again, but Sam continued, "And, then, today, when we went back to Orban. When I saw the transformation there, when I realized what you'd done..." She fumbled for the words to explain how she felt. "Sir," she concluded, "You saved Merrin and made her world a better place. It humbled me, sir–your instincts often do... I'm just lucky to be serving with you."

O'neill blanched at this unexpected praise from his second in command. He hadn't expected the conversation to go where it had, and he certainly wasn't enjoying it. "Ah, geez, Carter," he quipped. "All I did was get her out of your lab, something I fail with in your case on a regular basis." Sam made an indignant face at that and O'neill smiled smugly as he continued, "Anyway, I wouldn't write off your contribution to the people of Orban just yet. Here," he handed her a large flat package wrapped in brown shipping paper, "I have something for you."

Sam accepted the package tentatively, and opened it carefully. Inside, was a child's drawing:  
flowers, trees, a bright and enchanting world of color, and in the lower corner, a stick figure with yellow hair. The picture had been framed in simple, smooth maple wood.

"It's from Merrin," O'Neill said. "She drew it on our little field trip. It's supposed to be a picture of something that she cared about. You'll notice there's a representation of you there–her words 'a representation of Major Carter.' I figured that she'd want you to have it."

Carter's shoulders lifted as she looked over the picture, so simple and yet so beautiful. The Colonel continued, "Apparently, you made quite an impression on our young guest..." His smile became a little sheepish and he cleared his throat. "So, you see, Major, I wasn't alone in saving a world."

Sam looked up from the painting and met Jack's eyes, "Thank you, Sir." They were both smiling.

The End

A/N- Previously posted at Gateworld.


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